A common dating problem, and a major warning sign, is when your partner acts
one way with you, but behaves very differently around others.
Example situation
John and Mary have been dating for some time now. They like each other a
lot, but there is something wrong. Mary is always nice, gentle and forgiving
whenever she’s alone with John. In public, however, she argues with everyone
else. She’s always dismissive with waiters when she and John are on dates; she’s
hostile with other drivers when she’s behind the wheel; and, she’s contemptuous
of people she regards as her inferiors. She’s very unpleasant, to say the least,
to everyone. Everyone but John. Why is this is a dating problem for John? After
all, Mary is a pussycat with him. You might think that John has just managed to
“tame the beast” in her. Maybe they really can live together and have a
wonderful long-time relationship. You could think that, but time after time
you’d be wrong.
What does this behavior mean for the relationship?
Dating a person like Mary is like living with Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
Your partner is polite and considerate towards you, but he's hostile and
aggressive at the football game. Or he waves vulgarities at other drivers. Or,
he belittles wait staff for even the slightest goof. It seems as if there are
two people in one body. Unfortunately, the good half of the person never
overcomes the bad half. The dating problems you are experiencing are only the
beginning. What is a little annoyance on a date can be a real problem when you
become a long term couple.
Wonderful at first, terrible later.
Your partner’s underlying personality
is probably angry, hostile, and condescending. He's just on his best behavior to
win you over. He's a phony. If you don’t end this relationship, sooner or later
your partner won't need to impress you anymore. As the two of you become more
like family, he will treat you just as poorly as he does everyone else. Your
dating problems with your partner’s yelling at the waiter will soon evolve into
your partner’s yelling at you.
You don't have to put up with that. Rudeness to others will become rudeness to
you. It’s more than a dating problem. You should recognize this as a dating red
flag and keep looking. How he treats friends, family, and even strangers, is how
he will eventually treat you. Throw this fish back and keep trolling.
|
Click here to ask Alan a question
about your biggest relationship issue
http://relationshipsuccessexperts.com/askalan.htm
Get our free newsletter for relationship tips and advice
http://relationshipsuccessexperts.com/subscribe.html
©2006 Alan Stafford/Relationship Success Experts
About The Author Dr. Stafford is a speaker, writer, class leader, and personal
coach on topics important to Singles and Couples. As a relationship coach he
helps men and women of all ages find the love of their lives and lives that they
love. If you're tired of being alone, or worry you're with the wrong person,
call or email Alan for a no cost introductory coaching call to see how personal
coaching can benefit you.
alan@relationshipexperts.com
|
Back to Article
Directory
